my friend alecia's non-profit is opening today. i am so proud of her. it makes me smile and breaks my heart at the same time, thinking of the reasons and motivation behind this. two years ago this summer was when she called me. called me and told me what was happening, what had been happening for a long time. i remember the sticky nashville night, pacing back and forth in front of the apartments that housed my future husband, cursing into the phone, cursing a man (?) i hardly knew as it turned out. alecia knew him even less. she had been raised as i had, to believe that giving up and signing it all away was not an option. but i told her i had seen things that had changed my view. when someone takes your very spirit and crushes it, and by their actions take away your desire to live, then you must take what's left of your crushed beer can of a spirit and get OUT. GO. LIVE. and live she did. she's still living, and running and working and neverstoppingforonesecond. but i think everyone has their own coping mechanism, and hers is to throw all of herself into others, and into being busy, and having deadlines and pressure. part of me understands this. i remember when alecia's colors were sunny yellow and bright periwinkle. and these colors mixed with white and presented a picture of joy and innocence and peace. i've never slept better than in her childhood bedroom, in the daybed that was "mine" for a time. when the world started getting scary and i had nightmares and lost weight and cried myself to sleep sometimes, alecia was a safe place to land. i know her giftings are for this new venture. the colors of make it beautiful are deep brown and dark pink. they are still colors, just like the yellow and periwinkle, but they carry more depth, weight, and maturity. they carry a red tint. they have been bathed in the blood that has redeemed us, has saved us, has had mercy and grace on us. i love these new colors, but i will do my best to remind alecia of the old colors of her life, and help her blend the new and old together. God can make them into any in the rainbow.
good luck alecia. i hope you have the time of your life. there is nowhere to go but forward.
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