prophesize with your pen

i've been sitting around in my apartment for a few days now, thinking how i need to write. i mean, conditions are prime. i was snowed in for a while, i cut my fingernails, i've had two days off this week. i've sat here with all those good conditions and convinced myself that i didn't have anything good enough to write about. yet all day long and sometimes in my dreams at night i have these thoughts, like they're out of a book or a movie. actually they're better than that, because they belong in my real-life head, and go into my real-life blog. when i get over myself. it's hard, because sometimes i don't trust you. i don't trust you to be objective, or subjective, or whatever i need you to be when you read my soul.
my small group is starting a study based on the book "life's healing choices" by john baker. the first thing we're assigned to do is think of something that's a bad habit or a hang-up and bring it to light. i realize that i spend too much time talking about trivial things and not enough about the deep thoughts, dreams and prayers i have all during my day. i like to say that i'm not much for small talk but the truth is, small talk is just easier most of the time. it's not as scary. especially when you have the gift of prophecy!
i was reading the story of moses today, the part where God is telling him that He will be there when moses speaks to the pharaoh. i used to compare myself to moses when i was younger. i felt that i had seen a burning bush - that God had showed me wonderful things - but i also felt completely inadequate to share that with others. years have passed since thinking that i was totally inadequate. i've been in enough teaching positions to feel more confident. i think my problem now is laziness! which is so much worse. i think of the people i admire most in life. they are people who have energy and who cut the crap. i wanna cut the crap!
ok.
here's to keeping this up. let's go one day at a time. here's some truth for you.

stress, fear, and inadequacy are not from God.
you don't have to be a sinner. you can be a saint.
God is I AM. God-is-present. God is in a good mood!